Blog · Funny


Good Morning,

Today is Thursday. The day before Friday. The day after Wednesday. Practically the weekend.

As many of you wake up and head to work, school, run errands, see the mistress (what ever, I don’t judge) we are faced with a hair pulling situation.

I am referring to the morning commute. Its bad enough that you have to share the roadways with hundreds of other drivers going the same direction,  but you must also deal with plenty of idiots who some how manage to obtain a drivers license. No matter in what area of the world you are located in you will most likely encounter the following drivers.

1. The Weavers

These are the people who weave in and out of lanes trying to find the fastest lane. This usually never works! Pick a lane and stick with it. Nothing is more satisfying than passing up a weaver who gets stuck in the slow lane.

2.  The No-Turners

When a driver comes to a red light in the right lane, in a three or more lanes road, and doesn’t turn right. Why would you keep everybody behind you, with flashing blinkers waiting? Turn! or switch lanes.

3.  Bumper Riders.

Its ok when its bumper to bumper traffic. But if the cars are flowing….why? If i am able to the your fine lines and wrinkles on your face through my rear view, then back the fuck up. There is an exception to this, and that brings me to..

4.  Slow drivers.

This  is subjective. Someone’s “driving the speed limit” is another persons “MOVE THE FUCK OVER!” We can all agree to at least drive the speed limit. but can we agree if you are going to drive the posted limit, or you have cars whizzing by you, don’t drive on the passing lane.

5. The Oblivious

Drivers who don’t pay attention at the red light.

6. The “Oh my exit!”-ers

These people feel that its ok to whip across multiple lanes of traffic to make their exit, putting lives of others at risk. Is this really necessary?

7. The “I ❤ My Phone“-ers

Really? Put it away until you get where you need to be!

8.  The “I’m better than you”

The emergency lane. The shoulder, how ever you call it. Stop driving on it. You are not the only one who is in a rush to get somewhere. Or those who drive behind emergence vehicles to plow traffic. Just Stop.

9.  The “No Merge for you!”

This is a tricky one. There are those who try to force their way into a lane that’s bumper to bumper. There are those who switch without using their blinkers, but if the switching driver, has their blinker on ahead of time, and there is room to merge, there is no need for you to speed up to avoid them merging.

10.  The Multitask-er

The “I can do it all”, the “Go getters”, the “I have shit to do”. These are the drivers who feel operating a vehicle not challenging enough, they also have to read the paper, be on their phone, shave, apply make up, finished getting dressed, cure cancer, solve world hunger, and juggle while driving. STOP IT. Focus on the road.

To all my readers, I wish you good luck on your morning commutes each day. We are guilty of some or all of the above once in awhile. If you are the one claiming that you do one of the above, then you are guilty of all of the above everyday. Thanks

Until next time.

Good Bye
Good Bye

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